Q: Can I interview
you/book you as a guest on my radio/TV show?
A: No thanks. I'm not doing any more interviews. I don't
want to have to think about this stuff all the time. If I
do one interview or personal appearance I feel I'd have to
do them all, which would change the pattern of my life in a
way I don't need.
Q: Why do you
A: Why do you hate reality?
Q: What do you
think of Buddhists/Hindus/Sikhs/Jedi etc.?
A: I have no
problem with any of them, as last time I checked they
weren't trying to take over the world.
Q: Do you use a teleprompter or read from a script?
A: No. I know what I’m going to say. I don’t need to read
Q: Why don’t you
answer comments to your videos?
A: I get an avalanche of emails every day and I reply to as
many of those as I can. If I replied to comments as well
I’d have no time for anything else.
Q: You don’t
know what it means to have faith.
A: I don’t know what it means to you, and I don’t want to
know. That’s kind of the point.
Q: You don’t
A: I don’t understand smallpox or typhoid either, and I’m
equally disinclined to get acquainted with them.
Q: Why shouldn’t
I be allowed to raise my kids religious if I want to?
A: The same reason you shouldn’t be allowed to beat them
with a knotted rope.
Q: I'm a
moderate Muslim and I'm offended by your comments about my
A: Then you're not moderate enough.
Q: By antagonising religious people, aren’t you making it
less likely they’ll agree with you?
A: I don’t want them to agree with me. I want them to shut
up and maybe see a doctor.
Q: How do you respond to atheists who say you're too crude
A: They're probably right, as usual.
Q: Are you academically qualified?
A: No. I left school at sixteen. My first job was washing
dishes in the revolving restaurant on top of the Post
Office tower in London for five shillings an hour.
Q: Why do you
attack Christianity when Islam is a bigger threat?
A: Because our indulgence of Christianity has encouraged
Islam to claim equal status and threaten our freedom.
Q: Why is multiculturalism a racist ideology?
A: Because it discriminates on the basis of ethnic origin,
encouraging immigrant cultures to tread on the values of
the indigenous majority, while calling any reciprocation
racist or Islamophobic.
Q: Why aren't you a YouTube partner?
A: Putting ads on my
videos would be like putting an advertising hoarding on the
front of my house. I hate watching videos with ads on them.
Why would I want to inflict that on others? I’d rather
people bought my books.
I’m tempted to claim that anyone who buys a book is making
a contribution to keeping the videos ad free, but even if
nobody bought one I’d convert to Islam before I’d let ads
anywhere near my videos.
Q: Do you support the BNP?
A: No. I don't support any form of racism.
Q: How do you vote in elections?
A: In the past I've always voted for the fattest candidate
on the basis that they'll take up more room on the House of
Commons benches thereby giving me more democracy for my
valuable franchise, but now that Britain is being turned
into a vassal state of a federal Europe I'll be
Q: I live in the American Bible Belt, and
I’m afraid of social repercussions if I tell people I’m an
A: Well, I guess you’ll have to spend the rest of your life
living a lie. Good luck with that.
Q: No, seriously. People would treat me like some kind of
A: Take it as a compliment.
Q: My friends would disown me. My family business would
A: OK, you win.
Q: I’d lose my job.
A: All right, we get it.
Q: Prove God
A: That’s a
tough one. Show me how it’s done by proving Zeus and Apollo
don’t exist, and I’ll use your method.